JOKES

JOKE 1
 An Igbo man mistakenly sent 2million Naira to a wrong phone number via Mobile Money. He realized that before the person would withdraw the whole money, he had to think of what to do if he was to get his money back. To the person's phone number, he immediately sent a text:

"Hello Dark and Worthy Initiate, I hope you are okay. I believe you’ve received the money I sent you for the initiation ceremony into Eternal Mystical Order Of Glorious Satanism in the Ancient Ogboni Fraternity, scheduled to happen at 12midnight tomorrow. That money is only for transport. You shall receive more for pocket money and there are riches awaiting you. 2 weeks after the initiation, the family member closest to you will die under mysterious circumstances and
this death will unlock your ticket to wealth, ability to fly at night and change into all kinds of animals to deliver your various assignments. Remember, you can buy your own syringe and needle meant to draw your blood before you enter the temple. Please don’t be late because the Viceroy of Satan himself will be present to officiate the ceremony. Thanks in advance. But incase you are not ready to join yet, please send back the money otherwise you will die in the next 24hrs". 3 Minutes later, he got a Mobile Money message: 'You have received 2million Naira in your mobile money... If na U gt d Alert, wetin U go do???? ;D ;D

JOKE 2
 Police officers were at a road block. One of them stops a trailer:
POLICEMAN: Where is your permit?
DRIVER: (Hands in his permit)
POLICEMAN: Do you have an extinguisher?
DRIVER: Yes, its there…
POLICEMAN: Light up your indicators.
DRIVER: (Light his indicators)
POLICEMAN: Do you have a seat belt?
DRIVER: Yes, I have.
POLICEMAN: Hunk your horn let me hear.
The driver hunks his horn. The policeman turns to his fellow officers and says the man has everything and they decided to let him go. As the driver was about to drive away, one of the police officers suddenly shouts:
POLICEMAN: Is your SIM-card registered?
DRIVER: (Completely surprised) No.
POLICEMAN: Park! Park there!!! How can you drive without registering your number? What if you are involvein an accident, how will we identify you? ;D ;D

JOKE 3
Akpos was on the bed with his wife, sleeping. He dreamt he was in heaven. When he got to heaven’s gate, he met an angel who started showing him everything. After a while Akpos asked the angel; can i piss here?.
Angel replied ; it’s not allowed but you can. A short while later again, Akpos asked; can i mess here ?.
Angel replied ; it’s not allowed but you can. Minutes later,again, Akpos asked; can i poo here ?. Angel replied ; it’s not allowed but you can.
Akpos saw a flower and asked the angel; can i use the flower to clean my butt ?.
Angel said; it’s not allowed but you can. As Akpos was about to use the flower to clean his butt, a hot slap landed on his face….then his Wife shouted; you piss for bed, i no talk, you mess, i leave you, i no talk, you poo on top bed, i leave you, i no talk.You now want to use my wrapper clean your bottom, You dey
mad ?.. ;D ;D

JOKE 4
 E get one particular restaurant wey I dey chop 4 wuse zone 5 E get one oyinbo wey dey always come chop there too

Anytime dis oyinbo chop finish, he go shout "Hey", so I wonder wetin dey make am shout.

I decided to chop wetin d oyinbo dey always chop so maybe me sef go shout too. When I reach d restaurant yesterday evening, I order wetin d man dey chop.

Dem tell me say na chicken & red wine, so i chop am, but i no shout, I collect extra plate, but i no still shout. I say dis oyinbo na mumu o, why e dey always shout like dat now

Na then i just vex ask 4 my bill. The waiter tell me say one plate of chicken & red wine na N75,000 then d extra plate too na another N75,000. Na then I shout hey! heyy!! heyyy!!! !!!! heyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyy ..
I still dey shout till now ;D ;D